Set.

GO!!!!

My race against myself starts promptly every morning before I get out of bed. My first challenge is to get the hell out of bed…not stay in the warm, cozy, soft bed that I have all to myself. (By the time I get out of bed, Tom is already gone to the gym at work.)

Here is a dream day for me…

1. Wake up at 6:30 a.m.

2. Go downstairs and start coffee, then go back upstairs and change into workout clothes.

3. Hop on treadmill and walk/run two miles. (thirty minutes on mill.)

4. Take a quick shower.

5. Run down, get coffee….run back upstairs, wake up kids, then start getting myself ready.

6. Know what I will be wearing that day w/o trying on 50 different things, then do hair..(which will look fab by the way) and makeup also. Also will be able to do this while all the kids are eating w/o fighting and can depend on them to clean up the cereal, put away the milk and dirty dishes.

7. Remember, this is a dream day…so stick with me.

8. All the kids get ready, no fighting with me or each other. Lily won’t scream or shake her head as I am trying to brush it and make it pretty for school, and nor will she wine and cry when I tell her to put socks on.

9. There, all done. I look and feel great…..time to go to the bus stop.

10. Kids won’t take all their bikes, skateboards, razors out, instead, go directly to the bus stop where they won’t goof off, or hit each other with their backpacks.

11. Claire won’t make Lily cry, or visa versa.

12. Kids are off to school. Knowing that their homework is done, kids have studied for tests, quizzes. Papers signed in timely manner.

13. Drive Lily to school. Drop her off to pre-k. Stop at the store if need to, but shouldn’t b/c it’s my dream day, and I would have already have had this covered. Frige full. Pantry full. Freezer full.

14. Return home to do some gentle picking up. Prep for dinner. Check e-mail. Do computer work.

15. Maybe walk outside if it’s a nice day. All the while I am feeling great. Accomplished. Relaxed.

16. Pick Lily up. Spend quality time with her. Read, do puzzles, paint nails. Lunch (healthy of course).

17. Knowing that dinner is preped, start lunches, make Tom’s salad, prepare snack for kids about to come home.

18. Four kids home from elementary school. They have snack and don’t complain. They do homework and not talk, and remember to wash their hands w/o me telling them, and hang up their backpacks all on their own. And, best of all, no fighting.

19. The two older kids come home. No attitude, just telling me about their day. Have snack. No sneaking of food from pantry. No fighting over whos turn it is on the computer. Not hearing “this sucks, that’s gay, your retarded”.

20. Ahhhh…this day is wonderful!

21. Hubby comes home on time, and we have a nice family dinner together. No fighting. No attitude. No complaining about dinner. Everyone helps clean up. Homework is done so everyone is set.

22. Baths, showers are done. Everyone goes to bed on a timely fashion.

23. Tom and I get to spend some time together. We get to tell each other about our day over a nice glass of wine.

24. All caught up on bills, now we can play on the computer, or watch our fav shows.

WHAT A GREAT DAY!

Ok…so that is my usual day. But just omit…#’s 6-24, and even 1-6 don’t happen every day.

Who says that stay home mom’s don’t work? We work every minute. We (or I do) race from minute to minute. Trying to catch up from the day before, so I can make the rest of that day and if things are going well…for the next day. Then collapse after Lily goes to bed.

We (stay at home mom’s) should get paid. Imagine how much we would earn for all that we do here in the house. We work to make everyone else function for their day. We work. Even though I’m home, I work dammit, and I work hard.

Hats off to all stay home mom’s out there! You work hard for your family. You rock! Woo-hoo!

What is your dream day?

Again.

Is that weird?

Trying to communicate with people that have “passed on?”

What…..you don’t do that?

It’s so exciting to me.
Especially when you get a response. How COOL is that?

All of you who I know….you should come to the museum and check it out for yourself. Stuff is happening here all the time! Day and night. Every time I come into this place…I instantly get the creeps. Before I even start to think of anything. It’s that feeling. The feeling that we are not alone, although I do really try hard to ignore it when I am in here alone. That feeling of being “watched”. I go about my business. But, it’s hard to ignore it at times.

The only downside to this hobby is reviewing the evidence. It can take a long time. And to find the quiet time, alone time is a challenge to me. Go figure.

I have been spending a lot of time at Iron Island helping Linda out. It has been great.

Watching people come in to the museum, visiting from different states because of the show. It’s so cool!

Being there, I get to hear so many ghost stories from other people.

People have come in and told Linda that their relative was “waked” from there, or they remember it when it was a church. It’s so cool to see that all unfold.

If you are around the Buffalo/Love Joy area, I strongly suggest stopping on by! Take a look for yourself. It’s only $2.00 per person, and you can ask all the questions you like, and take as long as you want.

Even during the day, things to go bump. Things do walk by. Spirits still talk when the sun is out.

Trust me, I know.

Six years ago today was one of the worst days of my life.

That was the day I knew for sure that the baby that was inside me died. Erupted. Gone.

The day I had to go for a sono and find out….alone that instead of a baby….they see lots of blood.

” You must go to the hospital now before you go into shock!”

Surgery. Lost a tube. Baby gone.

Six years ago today.

I am so sorry Autumn.

I love you.

I dream every night. Like you. But…I remember my dreams. I remember them from over 20 years ago.

About last night…I can’t even tell you where I could begin or what I was doing, or where I was.

The one main thing that sticks in my head was my father.

Sure…people dream of their fathers all the time.

I don’t.

In my dream…he was a bit younger…like in his 40’s. He was healthy looking….and here is the amazing part….

He was happy.

He had a smile on his face.

I can still see it now.

He was smiling at me. And, that gave me such a good feeling.

Why is that so weird?

My father has not spoke to me in well over a year. Last words to me were “no…I’m not going to hug you!”

The man never smiles.

He is not happy.

He is not healty.

But..it felt good for a moment. He was smiling at me. We were together..having a nice time…and he was happy with me.

But..alas…it was just a dream.

Hi everyone in my frozen lipstick land!

No…I am not dead. I have attempted to write over the summer…but when I could not log on….and tried a bunch of times…I ran out of time due to the fact that I always had tons of kids here…can’t think for a moment. So…to save all the frusturation..I just gave up.

So..here I am.

Holding my face in my hands. The 13 year old won’t stop. Aruge is all they do? Is everything their way or no way? Why is everything a freaking argument? Why do they think the world revolves around them? Every WORD is a fight. It won’t end. It’s still going on. It’s a no win battle. Whatever!

So summer. Still think it’s too long. Even the kids were bored by the time school rolled around. Summer is just too long. It’s mentally exhausting. We did swimming everyday. Didn’t go anywhere. We did go to Binghamton a couple of times.

Speaking of Binghamton…I am trying to spend time with my Aunt. The cancer has spread so much that it’s saturated her lungs, and spread to her lymph nodes, and also to her bones…which she was truly hoping not to get, as it’s an excruciating way to die. We don’t know how much time she has left. Can’t even think about it. That will be the day my life will change forever. Anyway. My neice Samantha (my sister April’s daughter), who Aunt Joyce raised is getting married, and is speeding up the wedding to next month on the 10th. Aunt Joyce has decided to take chemo just to maybe slow down this fucking cancer…so to make it to the wedding. It will be bittersweet. My highly disfunctional family will be there. What do you say to your father whom you have not spoken to in over a year? I’m going to get an ulcer. Just watch.

So…pardon me if I seem a bit angry at times. Lots to be pissed about.

Also…un update on my brother in law Ed. Most of you know, Tom’s younger brother Ed, who is about 32 by the way, was just diagnosed with skin cancer. Because of the proximity of the mole..(which is how it was discovered) near his lymph nodes, he had two surgeries to remove his lymph nodes. The first surgery they removed 3. One out of 3 came back positive. Then his second surgery they removed all. That time..none came back positive. He just was released from the hospital recovering from a staph infection. This guy needs a break. His next step is to come back to Rosewell and talk to an oncologist about possible chemo. Ed has a wonderful wife, Jen and two sons..Tim..15, and Ethan 2.

One of the positive things I have going for me is my hobby…being a paranormal investigator. I am having a blast. Our group Is It Real Investigators are going to many new places. We just recently did a very well known Theatre in downtown Buffalo. We also did Rolling Hills this past Friday..and will be going back to Iron Island Museum. By the way..I know you all heard me talk about the season premier. It was a blast..and I am so happy for Linda (the owner, and pres of the museum). You have to check out that episode of Ghost Hunters. Go to the website on the sci-fi channel…and I am sure they have a link up. You also have to check out these pages.

www.ironislandmuseum.com

http://www.myspace.com/ironislandmuseum

and….

www.isitrealinvestigators.com

I just started up the myspace page for Iron Island. I would like to help Linda out as much as I can. It’s fun for me! That place is totally haunted.

Well..I hope you are doing well….

I will be writing again soon…and I will try not to bla..bla..bla as much.

-Lori